Despite these terrible things, you have to listen to "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You." I got their whole Wizard of Aaahs album, and practically every song besides this one got annoying after a couple of days. Bummer.
Black Kids: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
We can say the same thing about Justice. I read about them in my favorite practically-porn magazine from Mexico, Baby Baby Baby. Yeah, these guys are cool, and you'll be cool too if you listen to them. I recommend D.A.N.C.E. and DVNO, any song without a title completely made up of capital letters is dangerous territory. It's all good if you're preoccupied and working on solutions to overpopulation or foam core models of homeless shelters but as soon as you take a break you'll look at your speakers and say "What the fuck is this shit? Do I actually own this?"
Justice: DVNO
Listen to anything by the Dodos. If Two Gallants had an effeminate little brother, he'd sound like this. They really break lose on the tracks Jodi and Fools, listen to Jodi. It's bands like this that make you thankful to Mozart for inventing music and to punk rock for inspiring traditionally tinged music which doesn't fall so dangerously close to mainstream country that it makes you look like a fat NASCAR fan who eats at Arby's and enjoys the occasional Evanescence. I'm talking about Kate Maki, who's not so bad herself, but clicking on her Myspace friends sends you down a pussy, indie-kid, redneck rabbit hole the likes you never knew existed outside of Omaha and Conor Obersts' Cassadega. Kate Maki is Canadian, and so are all her friends. Great, now you have to deal with not just tractors and first beers out on Bradbury Hill, there's some hockey going on here too. Despite this, Kate Maki has produced an amazing song called "To Please" which teleports you straight to the Saloon you dreamed up in second grade and thought you would be drinking at when you grew up, before you became Straight Edge and before corporate rock stations practically beat you to death with advertisements for "Cervezas" imported from Illinois, Pearl Jam, and 100 versions of the same Foo Fighters Song all in a row. Guess who else teleported me to the Rusty Spike Saloon (Brandon made that name up two years ago, but it's fitting)? Rocky Votolato. So here's the way it works:
Two Gallants: The Real Deal, straight out of 1849 or 1908
The Dodos: Two Gallants are like Clint Eastwood, The Dodos are Edward Norton playing a guy in a movie who pretends to be a cowboy.
Rocky Votolato: Your old punk rock friend who used to have the liberty spikes, except he listened to Johnny Cash Live At Folsom Prison and decided to buy new clothes. Sometimes he sounds like a pussy, but he can still hang.
Kate Maki: What the fuck is going on in Canada? I know I sound like a dick, but lumberjacks and cowboys came together and made a whole slur of music you kind of don't want to hear, except for gems like this. When you listen to the real version of To Please, it reminds you of when Bright Eyes thought the country thing was kind of fun and ridiculous, and it sounded cool too. Not now, where they're all serious about it. It's a bad joke that they've taken way too far.
Trainwreck Riders: Let's make country punk rock that vegans can dance to, but none of that fucking swing shit.
The Dodos: Jodi
Kate Maki: To Please
Rocky Votolato: Your Darkest Eyes
Bright Eyes: Let's Not Shit Ourselves
(Fuck them Conor, fuck all of them)
Two Gallants: Steady Rolling
(Is it fucked up to listen to a song that mentions killing your spouse, at work?)
Trainwreck Riders: Slow Motion Cowboy
(It's hard to lip sync on the subway)
Kathryn
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